We Should Hang Out So I Can Kill You.

by Serge Bielanko

Thunder Pie was being worked on so you couldn't see it for like a day and a half. In case you were wondering. I got three emails wondering, so chances are: you weren't wondering at all. So what did I fix/change/enhance about the thing? Well, after careful deliberation, I decided that nothing was fixable. Everything is perfectly bent and warped. Also, I sometimes need to smother things I love with pillows with holes. It's just how it is with me. I smother like a motherfucker while the thing/person/dream stares up at me and breathes and smiles though a hole. It's really wonderful. Seriously.

I also had one of my periodic AssBook meltdowns and deleted every single one of my friends. This too went largely unnoticed in both my real life and my electric one. Hmmph. Anyway, if I de-friended you please don't take it seriously. Truth is: I probably de-friended you for real long ago and AssBook just brought us back together for no reason but boredom and gluttony. Feasting on souls. It's kind of Satanic in a way. Let's see how many entities I can collect, keep track of from a safe distance, devour at my leisure.

Well, I occasionally need to go Full Hell. Simply eat the Souls so that they are not there anymore. Start over with an empty gut. Weird? Yes: weird. Stupid? Yes: probably stupid. Cathartic? Have you ever eaten your own Mother's Soul? Or your wife's? Dear God does it feel good! I am not kidding. And the more Souls you have, the better! I only ate like a little over a hundred, so it was merely a Snack Upon Mortals...but some people have six or seven hundred "Friends". For God's sake, if you have the urgent curiosity/the yearning hunger/the natural need to be free of so much goddamn luggage, if only for a short time, then go ahead and do it. Gorge on the Souls of The Lonely and Bored.

Don't worry, either. The Resurrection takes like four days tops. Most of them don't even want to know what happened, they just send you the Friendship offer once again. Gotta keep the numbers up.

Also, I walked out of our marriage therapy thing yesterday after like ten minutes in which I felt attacked by you-know-who. I regret it, but what are you gonna do? Truth be told....and this is no lie...I was catching a very sensational eighteen inch brown trout at the moment the session would have been ending. Then I spent ten more hours with Green Drakes and Stoneflies and WD40's and many many fish. The Lord works in mysterious ways. So do I, I guess.

I know it was wrong: to walk out of the session. I am ashamed/embarrassed. Plus I really like our therapist and I believe strongly that it's all been working ok. Then we miss two straight weeks and we dive-bomb into a field of our own corn. Anyway, life goes on. She got paid; I flung the twenties into Monica's lap as I walked out. Don't tell me I'm an asshole either. You're one to talk.

So, this has been a roller coaster ride: this whole week. A series of little senseless pin pricks at the Big Balloon beating behind my ribs. A Feast of Souls.

Just another week, really.

And oh yeah: Violet makes me smile and glad to be alive.